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Sunday, June 07, 2009
I forgot all about this lovely little blog.....hmmmm......
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Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Walking in a winter wonderlandfill
Well, It's that time of year again...almost time to see these little fuckers on everyone's front lawn. That's right.....snow. I have to be honest, when I heard the weather man say that shit, I hung my head in disappointment. I fucking hate snow. But do you know what I hate worse? The people who LOVE it. The assholes that say things like, "OOOohhhhh, isn't the snow so pretty????". No, it isn't. In fact, it's the ugliest thing I've ever layed eyes upon you worthless douche. If I lived in a climate where it never snowed I wouldn't miss it one bit. Snow to me is an annoyance, especially given how lazy we all know I am. Think about it, cleaning off the cars, shoveling the driveway, horrible road conditions, COLD ASS WEATHER. It can all be lived without on this end. I don't even like rain because it reminds me of snow. In fact, I believe I hate any kind of precipitation in general. If someone spits near me I might blow a fuse at this point. So just know that while you bastards are out building snowmen, making snow angels, and doing all that other snowy happy horseshit, I will be here, somewhere in NY, cursing each and every one of you from my nice heated room. If there are any snowballs around me this winter, it better come with 2 chicks. And if you don't know what I mean by that....Google it.
You know, I was just reminded.....my first blog entry EVER, and I mean EVER, was about hating winter. God I need to move.
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Monday, October 23, 2006
When does that point in a relationship actually occur? I must have missed it. Now I'm not saying "HATE", but....when does the transformation from "You're my life!", to "You make me want to snuff the life outta you!" take place? Is it inevitable, or is there something we can do to stop it from happening??
No, I really want the answer....I'll wait.
I feel like if I hear the same stories over again, I might just get the urge to choke something. And not only that, but I'VE run out of shit to talk about. I feel like making shit up just to keep it interesting. So most times are spent in total silence......or arguing.....or thinking about more shit to argue about during the total silence. My head hurts just thinking about it. Relationships suck. The most fucked up thing about them is that when you're NOT in one, you spend all your days trying to get in one, then when you ARE in one, you spend all your days trying to break free from that hell. Just to start the cycle all over again. If there is a god....he's one fucked up puppy. He's probably sitting on a cloud somewhere....laughing his ass off at us.
I also think that's the number one reason why people cheat on their spouses. They need that feeling from a NEW relationship again. When you feel like you're in highschool again, when everything about the other person is new to you. All the stories have never been heard, all the things never been done. Then when that one gets old and stale, it's on to the next NEW relationship. Sometimes I honestly think human beings were never meant to be with ONE person forever. I just don't think it's in our nature. Now I'm not saying I'm a cheater.....I'm just saying I can understand. I can see how it gets to that point.
Anyway.....I'm off to come up with some new shit to talk about. Anyone want to donate some stories that I can say happened...."back in the day"????
Have a good one people.....I'm out.
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Sunday, October 22, 2006
It's Tom's fault you're fat.
Who's sick of this picture? I know I am. Hey Tom, get a new profile picture already will ya? Jesus Christ man, it's getting old. Fucking dork. People ask me all the damn time if I have a MySpace account, and the answer is YES, I do. But the real question is, will I give it out to anyone? No, I will not. My account there is limited to people who are in my inner most circle of friends and family, and that's it. And as anyone who knows me well enough knows, I keep what I do in my personal life, personal. And plain and simple, that's what my MySpace is for. Personal business. But I have noticed one thing while on there....
I FUCKING HATE MYSPACE.
People actually think they're some kind of fucking celebrity with their little piece of cyberspace. I've seen some of the most egotistical bullshit ever, and I'm not even talking about my own page yet. Constanly bombarded with, "I updated my page, check out my new pics!!!", and "leave comments! I LOVE COMMENTS!".....oh, I'll leave you a comment. But I guess it's not all bad, we are blessed on occasion with profile gems like this....
And of course, let us not forget this peach, which I am RUNNING as we speak to add as a friend....
And even on occasion, we're given a view into the pet lover's world, and shown pics of their pet manatees...
It's a wonderful world of entertainment out there in MySpace land. A magical place of thong shots and cleavage.....so basically, fun for the whole family. And it appears that anyone between the ages of 6 and 96 has a page there, and surprisingly, they're all still basically IDENTICAL. So now it brings us to why I started talking about it in the first place. People, if you'd like to have your own personal space can you please make it, hmmm........PERSONAL to you. Try using different layouts then the other 43987593 fucking profiles I've seen, try taking some new snapshots in different poses than the same 5 whore poses everyone uses. Try something, ANYTHING, to make me not want to smash my face into my keyboard everytime I'm logged on there. Or, better yet, log the fuck off your MySpace account and GO OUTSIDE for once in your life and actually MAKE FRIENDS. You know, like back in the day when you had to carry on a conversation with someone and invest some time into a relationship before you could give it the title of FRIEND. I know in this day and age of clicking a mouse pointer on the appropriate button to make a friend that it seems difficult, but, it's really quite easy. Try it sometime. When I was a teenager in order to talk to MY friends, I had to go outside, dig my fucking bike outta the garage, peddle my ass about 16 blocks, knock on the fucking door, ask their whore mother if they could come outside, and actually make an effort to see my friends. Now all these fat little bastards do is come home from school, plop their blubber on a chair, view their "Top 8", type a sentence or two, then it's off to the TV to sit some more while they play video games and stuff microwave pizza into their guts. FUCK YOU FATTIES. They should attach computer monitors and playstation's to treadmills for all you fat lazy bastards. I hate you fat kids. Parents, look around you right now at your children. Are they fat? If the answer is yes slap that fucking controller outta their hands and make them run around the block 5 times. Block every fucking website on their computer account except for diet.com and www.mykidisafatfuckingpig.com. DO IT NOW. The rate we're all going the average life expectancy for the human race is going to be 32. Ya fat fucks.
Whew.....that really got off topic huh? Hmmm....well....maybe it's off to bed....
*looks around and sloowwwwllly sneaks out the back door....*
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Thursday, October 19, 2006
Friends don't let friends chat drunk
Missy***: Why do they call you hate?
hatev3: That's the name my mother gave me
Missy***: Shut up!
hatev3: ok
*about a 15 minute pause*
Missy***: Hello???
hatev3: yes?
Missy***: I didn't mean that literally!
hatev3: I know, I was just bored of talking to you
Missy***: fuck you
See how smooth I am with the ladies??? Then, a little later on in the evening.....
Missy***: Are you mad at me?
hatev3: bitch I don't even fucking know you
Missy***: I was just trying to talk sorry to bother you
hatev3: Can you please choke on your own spit tonight and die?
Missy***: UR AN ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!
hatev3: well now you know why they call me hate
Ahhhhh, good times.
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